Puberty Edvard Munch

Puberty

The young girl sits

on the cusp of 14

on chaste sheets

consecrated and white

her doe eyes widen

she doesn't know yet

but she is the one

to sanctify you

You notice

The divine curve

of her almost breasts

the innocence

she covers up

with dainty hands

and bitten nails

You're overcome

You wonder

if her skin

would feel like fire

the way she burns

under your gaze

which she holds

a small smile shows

she's nervous

And a part of you

would like to

pull her close

clothe her

tuck her into those sheets

to read her a story

a tale of men

and of lust

But inner demons

rear their ugly heads

black shadows

that speak in tongues

telling you

her flesh will taste

like the sweetest peach

on your lips

A gutteral groan

escapes you

and hangs in the air

she giggles

and the sound rings

like a choir

you cling to

your pious hope

You know

you will be the shadow

that fights to keep

her virtue

that you hold as

sacrosanct

And though

you crave to take it

It doesn't belong

to you.

Unlearning

"Unlearning is not reframing or refreezing or something along that lines. They all focus on an end state whereas unlearning is about moving away from something rather than moving towards something. So unlearning is exactly what it says. Intending to let go of what we have already learned or acquired." - MITHYA institute for Knowledge and Learning.

I used to know 
how to bleed
words to paper
blood to bed sheets
I would scream
like a newborn
arms raised
unable to hold
the world

I used to know
how to love
holding roses ,
ignoring the thorns,
my fingers in ribbons 
smiling quietly
hiding rotten teeth
behind lips
that tell lies

I used to know
how to dream
of a world
beyond the nib
of a pen 
where princesses
save themselves
in ways 
I've forgotten now,

I've forgotten how.

Differences

Clutching

halves of

a torn photograph
from the day

at the beach

sand as coarse

as the quiet

we lay

mirrored

along our spines

you were

a reflection

of everything

I wanted to be

serene

a dream

alive

and I

the shadow

of all

you feared

volatile

reckless

and real.

Wishful thinking

"You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories" - Stanizlaw Jerzy Lec

That stolen night
it was bitter
we sat 
in unreality
your head 
on my shoulder
alien
and for once
it was okay
we were messes
disasters
uselessly
clutching normality
lacking morality
and living
our undeserved
freedom.

A Novel Romance

I thought of you today

a simple flicker

like a breeze

on the pages

of a well thumbed book

and in an instant

page 14

the familiar graze

of lips on neck

page 60

clammy, nervous fingers

entwined and shaking

page 132

dinner, laughter

sincerity 

page 176

screaming

after another

pointless war

page 201

When I finally wiped

from my mind

page 5

the night you

first said

I love you

recklessly

not realising on

page 180

you'd realise what

love was

and decide on

page 181

that we didn't have it.

The hard nights

She had forgotten

the thud

of unwanted thoughts

and clattering

of forgotten memories

imprisoned wails

escape her lips

and a tear

finds it's path

over oily skin,

She regresses

Clutching hands

over her chest

foetal on

virtuous sheets

whispers

in sweet blackness

promise the end

encourage light

but

she can't see

further than

the end

of her nose.

Autumn leaves

You changed

Autumnal

so slowly

from an envious green

with life in your veins

to walking away

fleeting yellow

kicking leaves up

as though problems

could be lost

in the crisp gold

I didn't feel

the bitter cold

I didn't try to pull

my coat close

or twirl a scarf

around my neck

until the morning

my fingers turned blue

and the leaves

were sodden

with rain

and trodden

into cracks

in the pavement

reminding me,

under grey skies,

Autumn leaves.